I’m still on your Netflix
Girl, I know you love me
Even though your parents
They don’t fu***** trust me
They probably alright though
I know I’m an asshole
No reply to all your texts girl I do you mad cold

Like you’re just
Dying to drive but you can’t find the keys, now
Looking for God but you’re down on your knees, I’m
All that you want but not what you need girl why

Tell me why do you still love me
Why do you love me?
You know you shouldn’t love me
Yea you still love me

All your friends tell you they hate me
God I’m f***kin’ shady
Couple weeks ago they were inside my sheets naked
Club, so you can Snapchat
T***ies out to snap that
I know that you do that shit just hoping for a snapback

Like you’re just
Dying to drive but you can’t find the keys, now
Looking for God but you’re down on your knees, I’m
All that you want but not what you need girl why

Tell me why do you still love me
Why do you love me?
You know you shouldn’t love me
Yea you still love me, oh

Why do you need me when you know you don’t need me?
It’s tearing you apart
I leave you broken and shaken
And you still call me baby

Tell me why do you still love me
Why do you love me?
You know you shouldn’t love me
Yea you still love me

Central Market

I posted this photo on Instagram just now and realized I had so much to share about this place. Central Market, or CM – I think the first place I went for a date in KL? It’s 17 years ago with my then bf. (Hope he is well, anywhere he is). He waited for me at the Bangkok Bank – and walked with me to CM and later I think we went to KLCC ย using Putra LRT. I was on the break from college, I had matrix in Penang. Memories!

I think we broke up via phone – it happened when I was out with some friends, when I was also there at CM. (Irony). He called me that day. I really feel like I wanted to forget the reasons why I ignored him, but I can’t. I am suck at forgetting unimportant and trivial things like these. I remember his question “so, this is it?” I was like, “yeah if you put it like that” And we were off. That was in 2002. I think I did take him for granted. (Hope he’s happy now).

I had a friend who told me he used to just sit at CM and watch people. Those were the days when he didn’t know what to do, some were hard times when life was a bit sad.

But anyways, it’s quite sad to be there yesterday, I hope CM won’t lost its charms! I looked at things and thought that I could get this anywhere else, at cheaper price. I didn’t know what to say, just kept it in mind. Maybe because I had a chance to travel around so those things looked usual to me, but maybe for the first timer out to KL, those things would be a real find!

Anyway, it’s 10th Ramadan now, hope you guys had a blessed Ramadan so far. ๐Ÿ™‚ InsyaAllah!


Harus tahu

Entri tak fikir panjang mana.

Pada masa ini ada banyak lagi perkara yang lebih penting untuk kau selain dari yang kau terkejar-kejar tu. Ada kerja, tanggungjawab pada keluarga dan juga pelajaran yang kau gatal nak sambung tu. Faham tak?

Walaupun begitu, hati kecil kau yang degil tu selalu jugak nak jerit jerit, nak benda yang tak pasti jadi milik kau. Kan. Cuba bersyukur sikit dan fikir dalam dalam, tarik nafas panjang-panjang dan ingat, yang Allah dah jadikan sesuatu tu sudah tepat pada tempatnya, cumanya mahu kau sabar. Ingat dan hargai apa yang kau ada, daripada nak mengharapkan benda yang tak pasti tu.

Cuba serapkan dalam diri, hati, lubuk kalbu dan segalanya yang boleh, yang tak semestinya apa yang kau mahu tu, baik untukmu dan tak semestinya apa yang kau tolak itu, buruk untukmu. Ingat tu.

Dan, masih juga hati mahu jerit perlahan-lahan,

Tuhan, aku rasa sebahagian kecil hati aku ini sudah dicuri. Oleh orang yang tak menyedari perlakuan jahat dia yang telah mencuri hati aku ini.

Yang benar,

pemalu yang mahu.


Kehadapan Vin Diesel.

Nota : Ini post tidak fikir panjang.

Oh, saya tidak lah ada perkara pasal Vin Diesel pun yang nak dikongsi.

Cuma, few months ago, saya ditakdirkan kenal dengan seorang lelaki misteri yang saya namakan Vin Diesel je lah. HAHA.

Kenal dia melalui satu media sosial. Tak kenal sangat. Tapi entah mengapa, tersangkut dengan dia. Bukanlah jatuh cinta atau apa sepertinya, cuma rasa macam ada chemistry.

Tapi sekarang, dia dah jauh dari hidup saya. Saya pun tak tahu kenapa. Perkara berlaku secara tiba-tiba sahaja.

Vin Diesel pernah kata kat saya “I’m here if you need me.”

Masa tu saya pun tak tahu kenapa dia sanggup cakap macam tu. Sebab I didn’t expect him to say that at all. Sebab kami tak kenal sangat pun. Masa tu saya sedang melalui satu perkara yang sangat menyedihkan seumur hidup saya.

Dua tiga hari kemudian, dia hilangkan diri dia.

Tapi saya masih boleh tengok dia. Through this media lah. But then, I sindir-sindir until dia terus block I.
Maybe I was dumb, sindir-sindir sampai dia menyampah and thought, damn budak ni. (hopefully not).

But, I sindir sebab I pelik.

Cuma I sedar, mungkin dia keluarkan ayat ย “I’m here if you need me” ย tu masa dia rasa dia boleh ada untuk saya, then suddenly he came to his senses that he actually shouldn’t say that to me. Maybe he came to realize that his offer was too heavy to bear.

Vin Diesel,
If you ever read this, please know that I am so sorry for the words I’ve said or the things I’ve done that might make you angry.

Orang yang dia suka, orang yang suka dia…

Bila kita suka someone but that someone tak suka kita balik.
Bila someone suka kat kita, kita tak suka dia balik.

Bila orang macam suka kat kita
Treat kita baik baik
Tapi in the end takde apa apa

Bila kita treat orang biasa biasa
Tapi dia ingat kita treat lebih

Bila kita treat orang lebih lebih
Tapi dia tak rasa apa apa

Bila kita tanya apa apa
Dia jarang jawab balik

Bila dia start conversation
Kita pulak yang lebih lebih nak sms la apa lah…

Bila dia kata dia single but not available tapi bila ditanya dia tak cakap pun kenapa dia tak available,
padahal dia tahu (kut) ada orang suka kat dia.

Dia sebenarnya tak percaya diri sendiri.
Tak percaya diri sendiri untuk come out with a reason on why dia should stay single
Bila ada orang yang suka dekat dia

Dan tak percaya pada dirinya sendiri untuk bagitahu orang tu,
That dia tak perlukan orang tu untuk suka dia lagi.

Tak percaya pada dirinya sendiri untuk cuba bagi peluang kat orang yang suka dia tu
Tak percaya pada dirinya sendiri, mungkin tak mengerti perasaan sendiri
Tak percaya pada dirinya sendiri, untuk berkomunikasi dengan orang yang suka dia tu
Tak percaya pada dirinya sendiri untuk memulakan sesuatu yang sebenarnya memang untuk dia…

Tak pasti dengan diri sendiri…


my birthday cake… ๐Ÿ™‚ bought it at a Cafe in Hotel Tanahmas, Sibu

Here is my birthday cake!

I had to go on a job assignment on my birthday! I was so sad, having to be apart from my friends, and most of all, I have planned a trip home until I had to change it, because my flight took off on Sunday. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I was sad again, I arrived at Sibu airport, on a rainy evening, everything was so gloomy. The people at the airport weren’t really friendly. I despise cold people, especially those front liners, I was expecting at least a smile… Instead everyone seemed too moody to smile. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Anyway, I still enjoy the feeling of getting to know new places. ย Alhamdulillah.

I slept late, waiting to see who would be the first to wish me birthday. Ahh… I am childish like that. I still love birthday wishes. I can’t help it.

Thanks to all friends who have wished me. I really appreciate them.

Then, I had this seminar on anti-human trafficking. It was kind of a bit boring, because I thought the information circulated were quite the same, yeah considering I had been to at least two similar seminars. But I still appreciate the knowledge, and I was seated next to a nice lady, from Sibu. She talked a lot and we kind of laughed at the same thing, in a nice way so we just had fun. Until she had to leave during lunch and I found myself laughing alone to those joke that sometimes, it was only me who thought the speech was a joke. ๐Ÿ˜›

Anyway, the afternoon session went better than the morning because it was presented in a forum way, where anyone could ask questions, or even share their experience and everything. I really loved it.

Until one speaker stole my heart… I think I fell in love with him? I really liked when I first saw him. He looked so handsome in his uniform. Damn!

He was the last speaker on that day. He went around the hall while delivering his speech, I guessed he wanted to prevent people from getting sleepy. Heh.

He ended his talk with his handphone number on the last slide. Who did that? HAHA.












Guess what?

I texted him and asked him to have cake with me.






He said ok and even paid for my cake and wished me birthday.

I really like him, I think.

I think that was the best memory of my birthday.

I am smiling right now. We are still keeping in touch, and I hope we will always do that.