blind – lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive

I watched helpless as he turned around to leave

And still I have the pain I have to carry

A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

 

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

 

I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming

That everything would be like is was before

But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

                                                                

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

 

After all this time

Would you ever wanna leave it

Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

And I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me dies when I let you go

 

            

 

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yesterday

nothing much actually happened yesterday, except that i had a nice warm gathering with the 105ers (putrajaya branch 😛 ) it was nice, i thought i haven’t seen all of them (ALL OF THEM TOGETHER AT A TIME) for almost two weeks. every one was happy and we obviously had fun together.

tonight we are going to continue our movie adventures after two weeks of relaxation. i m not sure they will like it or not, but i already booked 12 seats for Barnyard, tonite at tgv Sunway Piramid. hopefully at least ten of us will be there tonite. (aimi is still on going her spy course. hehe 😛 )

and chech, (if u read this) thanks for linking my page from yours! i appreciate it. thanks ya!

to mid and zaha, hmm please update ur blog….i love the way u guys telling stories.

sani, please let us know ur blog address.

huh i m going to go for a JPJ driving test on Thursday! wish me luck! I am so nervous i m not sure i can do it right or not. i still got a last two hours training tomorrow. huhu..and, please visit my Driving Trainer’s blog (he just developed it i think- www.nizamcikgumemandu.blogspot.com – that was a nice blog!)

have a nice day!

l.o.v.e

i’ve been missing someone lately. i have no idea if he does think of me too. i guess he doesn’t. because it seems like i am not an important person in his life anymore, or maybe never. maybe it was only me who did think and believe that we had something special between us.

so i made a conclusion or a decision, that i am not giving any thought about us anymore.  no matter how many times he’s going to persuade me (like he will do that?) which he did it recently. i think he just wanted me to treat him nicely when he is alone and obviously when he is in bad situation. that was when he will remember or think of me. so i guess i beter not give him anymore special treat..

o.k, actually i don’t have any good idea about love. seriously. my lovelife is kind of “hampeh” lately. which is continuously bad luck in love for almost two years. too long. hmm those hot affair is not counted anyway. that was just lust. not a serious thing for me. (though it did bring me tears..) 😦

he walked away from me. two years ago. but he is still around. we can go on as a friend. because we started as friend. he did understand myself, i think. but now he seems so far, so i guess we can’t go back as close as when we were friends. sometimes i think i should stop keeping in touch with him. hmm i just do not know what crap i’m talking here. huh things were so messed up now.

huh 😦

confirmly single

i am confirmly single and available… 😦 anyway, i think this is not bad at all, as i am going to reach my dreams first, but i couldn’t agree more that it is better if i have someone special to share every ups and down.

thank God i have so many friends who are always around. 

my life.

as i wrote before in my other blog, i am now on my way to start a more meaningful life, next year, of course. not that my current life is bad or not good, but…i think there were way too many things i took for granted those days, especially my age.

being around peeps who are older than me, i am just playing and playing and thinking that i don’t have much things to consider, because i think i am still young! at 23, i got my first secure job, in the service where at my age, is considered too young and and lucky. so i took that words seriously, and enjoyed all those moments.  but now i am 24 and next year i’ll be 25! (of course)…i think i’ve had to minimize the fun-fun activities and i have to start being more responsible towards my life, because, there are actually many things i should be taking care of.

i remember my uncle once said to me that if i just want to enjoy, then there’ll be no ending to that. (funny how we started to remember and admit those words are true now, rather than the moment we heard them first)… of course what he had said was always right, so now i think i am ready to take my life one step forward. (not that i m gonna get married or what) but i think my life needs a retreat. i need to muhasabah and re-assest my life. i really have to set my focus and target.  but of course i will do it one at a time.

i believe there are many things we can do, if we’d only believe that we can do it. so…i think for now i will rest and relax, plan my target carefully, set the time frame, and next year i hope i can start well. for now, let me relax and watch how this year ends.

my lovelife. wow. seems like the forecast from the zodiac or whatsoever can’t really be believed. there is still no progress. i am in the state as i were last year (boyfriend-less). but this year i am blessed with so many friends who were always around for me. thanks friends.

i can’t imagine how i got through life during 2004 (after graduation) when i was alone, working somewhere in K.L without friends, except for the phone line operator and my life was only the same, home-office-home, everyday (even on saturday) and that was a torture, but thankfully i managed to get out off those bitter memories. during that time, most of my time was spent in front of the pc screen where i chat to some online friends about how miserable my life was. (being lied by my boss, got my paycheck late and i even saw my boss got hit by Along).  that, anyway happened long time ago.

that was why i was so grateful to be accepted into this service. i am really grateful. but as i am getting used to this job, i started to forget how hard to get this job, and yes, i took things for granted. so now, i hope i can be better in the future. i hope i can do it. i believe i can do that. (positif echah, ko kan kuning!-those words sound familiar, rite?) 😛

Your Birthdate: July 16
 

You’re incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.
Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

hmmm

how do u feel when someone you trust, had betrayed you?

that was what happened to me. i was betrayed or was just feeling as if i was betrayed by my staff.

it was on saturday morning, when we were supposed to take off to KLIA from office. it was 8.30 am and i was calling her every minute so that she could go to KLIA with us. (in the bus). i had tried to call her since the nite, to ask her if she would like to go with me.(from our flat to the office)

but then, until 10.10 am, she didn’t turn up and our flight was at 10.30 am.  a couple of minutes to 10.15 am, i saw her, smiling! (like nothing she did is wrong!-not even apologized..). i was getting pissed off and i just let her checked in herself (while me and the others checked in grouping) and left her at the counter while i had to settle some things on excess baggage. after settling that, i went straight to the “boarding place”, assuming she had managed to get herself into the plane earlier.

it was until we reached langkawi, then we realized that she was not in the plane. huh! (her phone was out of service-since friday..)..

i was really mad, because she was under my supervision, what would the other officers, especially my senior think of her, and of my job responsibility?

until now, i just do not know how to talk to her because we usually rather close (we used to hang out together). even our face look alike. she did apologize, but she didn’t come to talk to me first, and i think i deserve to wait until she start first.

i can’t think as if nothing had happened, because of her absenteeism, so much things had happened.