there was a boy, he treated me like i was his girl friend. one day i’ve found out that he already had a special girlfriend. i was not mad at him, however i was so sorry for his special girl. that girl seemed so in love with him and had trusted him so much. i, on the other hand couldn’t seem to just let him go. instead i stayed with him.  and our relationship grew. but i knew there was no future for us. so after two weeks of being so close to him, i decided that i was so selfish and i had hurt other’s heart, eventhough that girl would never know about this. (cause she stayed in different state).so i back off. and just stay as his friend.

until last year, i stopped keeping in touch with him. because i finally realized that he just needed me as a replacement. (when he got back here, so he was far from his girl..) and i think i was so tired of being don’t mind when i at certain times was actually really mind…

now he keeps emailing, messagging and what soever alike. and i don’t like it. shall i just ignore it?

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bee bee is working…..

damn busy. need to go and find a pair of court shoes. huhu. got lots of report to complete. my boss is getting mad at us already. i’m gonna splurge this evening. talking about retail theraphy..

hemm i just didnt know what was so indirect about the post. i think the meaning of the post is clear.

anyway, i bought a pair of shoes. kind of cute. and i like it. very much! here’s the pics. the velvety one. with pink label. yeah.

my shoes.

just a lil’

i think many will agree if i say just a little thing can bring so much meaning to one’s life. right? (put your hands up!) yeah…

i was at my friend’s engagement ceremony when i felt so blessed, i felt like to cry when her uncle said that they were confirmly engaged. huh, i didnt know why i was so damn touched by the language and the ceremony itself. it was little but meaningful thing that touched many people’s feeling..or is it only me? huhu

i have to confess that i am easily touched by a little sweet or sad thing. it is a common thing to see me cry after a sad movie, or nonstoppedly laughed after a funny movie. it’s me. that’s who i am.

okay, it’s lunch time already. and i have to make move sooner. friends are waiting though. yes, the 105ers one. so see ya.

forgive me please…

last nite i went shopping again, with aimi…and end up having dinner with jimi baik, sani, and razi (who had a feeling we were there, he went straight away from kuantan to de thai..)…and guess what, had a kind of hot discussion with jimi baik. about khai.

i didnt know why but i had a bit of uneasy feeling when it came about khai. i am so disappointed with him. not that he is some kind of jerk or what, but he was such a best friend to me, once. but during dpa we went our own way moreover we were placed in different sidang, so the oppurtunity to spend time or hang out together was next to none. so much had happened and we were getting far apart. we didnt have much to talk even when we had time because we missed so much things about each other. dpa was so hectic and we just wanted to do our own things, couldnt care more about other people. and this is what happen between me and khai. (kind of hard to explain but i tried here..)

last nite jimi said nicest thing about khai and suddenly i was so pissed off i was angry with jimi for bringing up about him. (it’s not that i dont want to hear about him, after all he’s still my friend – i thought so la)

hmm so much things. anyway, to cut it short (i have meeting in 12 minutes), i already called khai and told him i said not nice things about him, and already asked for his forgiveness. i hope i am forgiven.

it was nothing khai. i just missed our good old days. friendship forever. i always hoping for your best.

really need this..(i thought)

i was so tense this morning. i just didn’t know why. i had no mood to go have breakfast with the usual corum. maybe because the late-late night outing i had in two straight nights. and the workload is abusing me…felt like i had to take care of  everything in the office…

we had the usual wednesday morning meeting this morning. and with the progress of everything, there will be troubles coming along.  and yes, i had to manage and deal with those things… feel so tired. both physically and mentally.

i just want to curl and rest now. if i closed my eyes, for sure i will be drifting away. no of course i can’t do that. i had so much work to do…

anyway, to my abang, selamat bertunang! wish you happy always. don’t quite believe he’s gonna get engaged so soon. after all that happened. (don’t know why am i so damn excited about this.. 😛 )

to my awak, i miss you, so much. wish u were here. why when we were apart from each other the emotion will be taking things over? why are we so damn playing with our ego before? i don’t know why, but yesterday i was so confidently addressed u as my long-distance boy friend? :p hope u don’t mind. miss u dear.

friends, i am really grateful for having u guys around me, to lean and to turn to, happy or sad, we’ll stick together. love u guys. thanks for being around.

when am i going to…

this page had been opened since last 30 minutes and i didnt have a slight chance to type anything, because? my boss was sitting right before my eyes, to be precise, he was holding the backside of my laptop screen. and now they (my boss and my senior) are making jokes about the other officers. about who am i going to choose as my life partner is there were only these two guys in the world…haha, i noticed the face of Z and H were changed as my boss (Mr. .A) said that. surely they did feel a little shy.

tonite will be a movie nite. we are going to go and watch a movie-deathnote at cineleisure, the curve, somewhere in damansara. hopefully we will make it at time-because now it is raining heavily out there.

this morning, a special friend sent me an sms, which did make my day.  hmm i miss him so much.  wish he is here.  around, at least. but he’d been so busy (he told me that-i did trust him so far..) wish we can keep in touch as we’ve been before, during our uni years.

at lunch, had a marvellous get-together with the 105ers. hope this friendship will last forever, wish there will be one of us to be the next next next next Chief Secretary of the Government.  after lunch, i received a phone call telling me that i was appointed (with consensus of the hi committee) as the treasury of the 105ers.  what an honoured! hope i can give my best, because i am so proud with this committee.

a friend of mine will be having his special day this saturday, and bro, i am so proud to be one of the hi-witnesses. wish u happy. i always look up and respect you for being an entertaining brother. pray for me, will you. thanks for the invitation.

friendship sure mean a lot to me.  hopefully all my friends do feel the same. till here, bye for now. have a nice day.

friendship

spent almost two full days with some close friends (the 105ers).  doing nothing. just these : driving, or convoing?, eating out, attending openhouse invitations, and a wedding ceremony.  and watching a series of reshow of james bond. that was a great time.

and now, back to the weekdays, where most of the time is spent in the office. we hardly see each other, if we lucky enough, we could meet each other during dinner or teatea.  but most of the lads are somewhere else, attending the course for their department.  some had to go for retreat, inspection, meeting and likes…which make it possible for us to gather just like what we’d done last weekend.  and of course, i already missed them.

but as usual, (i said this way too many times, but i’ll say it again) life must go on! right? friends are there to support us, and to be with us when we need them.  so we must do that to them also.  we don’t do and hope them to do that to us, we first to make moves if we suspect something is wrong with our friends.  always try to keep in touch with them.

hmm something’s coming up.  had work to do.  i had my own job, to keep me alive. but friends make my life alive.  haha friends influence me sooo much.  tata