My husband and I are on our way back from my hometown. We were there to pay our last respect to my late grandmother who passed away last Saturday.

It was surreal as I received the news from my father. I was in Kedah, taking care of the closing ceremony for our event. Frankly, I didn’t even know what to feel at that time, my mind was focusing on who to be mad at for not checking things until last minutes for the event.

I last visited my grandma and talked to her early October. I guess we were ready for anything since the doctor said there’s nothing much left to do. She was 86 years old.

Anyway, I just wanted everyone to be close to their parent. Appreciate them while they are still here… I have lost my mom 10 years ago… and my grandma had so much more replaced her for all these years. So now, the house will likely sit empty unless for raya or any kenduri.

I don’t even know if the uncles and auntie are gonna spend more time at late grandma’s house, now that she’s gone. Masa arwah ada pun jarang balik. Sometimes I can’t help but think… kenapa susah sangat diorang nak balik, though I tried so much to be understanding but didn’t they realise how much their mom missed them?

Please appreciate your parents and families.

Whatever it is, we are moving on with our life. And pray for the best for everyone. Take care and hugs.


Al Fatihah.

Almost 4 months after mum’s passing, my grandpa passed away on last Friday. This time, the news is kind of  expected as he’s been critical since last 3 weeks.

I remember when he first had his stroke few years ago, it was barely two weeks after I had visited him and talked to him about anything under the sun, about life, his sons (my father and my uncles) and about his land and cows.

The news of him being half paralyzed hit me so hard because as I grew up he wore this image of a healthy man. He was a rubber tapper in the morning, and in afternoon sometimes he had “meeting” with his friends at some coffee shop and at evening he would get out to find some grass for his cows. We had a large compound for his cows in front of grandma’s house.

Then, after that, everything had became a sad memory, the compound which used to be a green clean farm with tall tall coconut and rambutan trees, is now full with lalang. 😦

Anyway, as we had just adapting with mum’s passing, this news had made us tougher than we thought we could be, I think everyone dealt with this news goodly. I know my father, uncles and aunty must have been very sad but they are redha with this fate.

It is sad to lost someone so dear but we have to keep on living anyway. Things happened not always the way we expected it to be, and it has always been that way since the day we were born, and as we could see, we are still living. It’s how we deal with life is important.  We could be grieving and crying our heart out if we want to but at the end, it will come to our sense that whatever had happened, had happened and life doesn’t wait for us. We could spend our time being sad, as long as we know when to get up and keep our self together again.

I am not good at saying things.

But I hope you guys get it. And as I smile, please bear in your mind, that I still have whatever bitter things inside me.

But, well, life must go on, right?

Tkcr. 🙂

Just got back from home

And succeed in creating some questions about my not taking long leaves. Why eh.

Nevermind. Mum is not very well because her foot is swelling. But she was just as stubborn, still going to work, driving around and all. However I forced her to rest on Tuesday. 🙂 Grandpa’s (mum’s father) is at ours. It’s mum’s turn (to take care of him) these few weeks. Grandpa was also not well and mum said that he’s just got his appetite back, thanks to some supplement mum forced him to take. Hope both of them will be fine 😉

My kid brother was not well too. He had high fever on Monday and it seems he’s recovering when I was about to leave yesterday.(Because my other brother just got home with the Play Station duh).

My uncle was admitted as well because of some muscle problem. (I don’t  really understand). But when I went to see him on Saturday, all he could do was just sit and play poker on FB. Huhu. But he still able to make us laugh. 😦 It was so sad to see him walking with terrible difficulties.

I also went shopping some foods for my grandma (father’s side). Alhamdulillah at least my grandparents on father’s side are all well. 😉

Above all this balik kampung, though short, was well filled with quality and precious time with loved ones.


I write for me.