Bila rasaku ini rasamu…

Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
Dan tak kan pernah ku sesali itu
Seluruh jiwa telah kuserahkan
Mengenang janji setiaku

Ku mohon jangan jadikan semua ini
Alasan kau menyakitiku
Meskipun cintamu tak hanya untukku
Tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti

Bila rasaku ini rasamu
Sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya terhianati cinta yang kau jaga
Coba bayangkan kembali betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih
Semua telah terjadi

Birthday

It was my birthday last week. Nothing extraordinary. Haven’t meet my girls since. Just spent some days with the old RSD girls. Which was equally fun.

I guess I still like 22, even I am now 32, birthday means spending time with someone so dear. When I was younger, about 8 or 9 or 10, when I realized about this special date, well for me, it is special, I would plead my mum to cook something special for me, and friends.

But being far away from home, for so long, since 1995, friends had fill in the space for the family… That was all fine, friends were as tight as family could be then, and now.

Having someone special, of course would be very meaningful, especially at this age, well again, for me it would be meaningful. But I can only wish. And I have to understand, I probably should understand and be more matured that all of wishes don’t necessarily need to be fulfilled.

But anyway, in my opinion, birthday should always be special. Again for me, a single girl, no wedding date (yet) to celebrate, obviously no kids’ birthday to focus on, so, I should say, that this is my special date and day, so that is why, it would be meaningful to have the chance to spend it with someone dear or everyone who loves me, as much as I do. :)

For now, I must be thankful for all those years I had and of course for having love around me.

I can’t be thankful enough.

Happy belated birthday, to me. :)

On another note, being 32, I still cry like a child when I am sad.

 

Weekend with geng lama :)

Every planning is made easy with Whatsapp, you agree? It was kind of rush, almost a day plan, to gather together with the girls, funny, I was once their boss.

Just want to share the photos. :)

With Jujue Friday nite out ;)

With Jujue
Friday nite out ;)

 

Jujue, Noli and Yna ;)

Jujue, Noli and Yna ;) Sunday iftar

Soleha, Zue and I. Sunday Iftar

Soleha, Zue and I.
Sunday Iftar

Coffee after iftar

Coffee after iftar

Nite out, Monday

Nite out, Monday

Tuesday morning. :P

Tuesday morning. :P

IMG-20140715-WA0004

I turned 32, yesterday :)

Puasa 2014 dan geng lama heee

Salam all,

Dah 15 hari berpuasa! Macam cepat je kan? Hmmm.

Alhamdulillah, dah 4 kali dapat berbuka bersama famili, walaupun tak lengkap… berbuka bersama kawan2 pun sempat, alhamdulillah. Cuma sedih sebab ada sekali berbuka sorang-sorang. Tapi, takpelah, sebab ada orang yang tiap2 hari pun berbuka sorang-sorang.

Now, saya kat opis, plannya nak buat kerja sekolah, tapi ya Allah! susahnya nak mulakan! Dahlah suasana best je ni, ada juga tertidur kat sofa nanti heee. :P

Hari ni ada plan nak berbuka bersama2 dengan geng2 ex JKJR. Heee, my first posting in 2005… ¬†(they were all my assistants) Kadang2 terperasan jugak yang saya ni boss yang cool kut ngn diorang sebab sampai sekarang kitorang boleh lepak2 and share macam2 perkara. Ramai2 tu, sorang je yang masih di JKJR, yang lain semua dah tukar-tukar ke tempat lain.

Dalam ramai2 tu, baru dua orang je yang yang dah kawin. HEEE. Takde jodoh kut yang lain2 tu. Dulu kami gelar geng ni geng playgirl. HAHA. Perasan kan. Kisah lama, almost 9 years ago since I knew them! How time flies! And Yna was the one yang ajar I pakai eye liner, they urged me to wear make up, even taught me how to! I was so naive back then, I only have lip balm and eye shadow wet n wild (now silky girl) in blue and pink :P Ingat pulak lepak di surau and test make up, rajin betul dulu, lepas asar pun semangat nak tepek make up, the reason was, because I have to take LRT everyday to and fro work so, I have to look good all the way! No matter how tired I was!

Alhamdulillah, for everything yang Allah bagi kesempatan untuk saya, especially for giving me those beautiful persons who love me, now, then and in the future. :) I wish I love them equally back.

And last but not least, semoga kita sentiasa mendoakan kemenangan Palestin. Semoga rejim Zionis menerima pembalasan dari Allah, semoga dikurniakan kemuliaan kepada umat Islam Palestin yang mengambil tanggungjawab memelihara bumi anbiya bagi pihak kita semua… Ya Allah.

And, semoga kerja2 saya ni tak tertangguh lagi dan saya dijauhkan dari sifat malas yang teruk. :)

Salam.

 

Letting go

I think I have a serious problem of letting go.

This troubles me. It affected my day. I don’t like it. I want to stay in everyone’s life. Am I being selfish for wanting that?

I have to let go. Of the past. And should focus on the now and plan/face the future as it will come anyway.  InsyaAllah.

Reminder to myself:

Past is past, you can do that whatever throwback that you want, but please, only on sweet things, don’t dwell on those hurtful things. And please appreciate those who stays with you, in your life and those who includes you in their life. They are your rock. Don’t hate people, don’t you ever hate people. (I said this because I think I also have a tendency to dislike people. HEEEESH! Not good! Not good at all! I used to see all the positive and good side of people but somehow now the ability is vanishing from myself. I have to get that power back!)

Berusahalah! :)