“Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly”

Counting Stars by OneRepublic.

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been playing hard,
Sitting, no more counting dollarsately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been playing hard,
Sitting, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars, yeah we’ll be counting stars

I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and you shall find
Oh, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
I’m just doing what we’re told

I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been playing hard,
Sitting, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars

We’ll be, we’ll be counting stars 

I feel the love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is a four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn
Oh, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
I’m just doing what we’re told
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been playing hard,
Sitting, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be, counting stars

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sing in the river
The lessons are learnt

I am not happy

I am not happy, I think. Sometimes it occurs to me, what am I doing here.

Tadi I rasa marah sangat dengan this someone, I thought what have I done in the past that I deserved to face this situation, worse, he didn’t even apologize (after few session of clarification, he misunderstood, particularly maybe because he didn’t pay any attention to whatever he should have).

I was so mad, I couldn’t say anything, I was not even in the mood of talking. I just want to go out and find someone who I could talk to. Of course everyone was busy.

I hate the fact that, someone misbehave could interfere my mood badly.

I hate that I couldn’t get that away. I hate that I let myself being influenced by that. I hate it.

Argh even my English is broken.

Quoting my FB status just now;

Sometimes we can’t help from wondering, what have we done to deserve to be treated in certain ways. Although we know that things happen for reason, but being human we can’t stop questioning. It’s just that, I hope that we do the wondering and questioning equally whether we are in a bad or good situation. I hope that we will always be grateful.

Apakah ini

Oh, hidup memang penuh dengan persoalan, walaupun I tahu sesungguhnya kena redha sahaja tapi ada benda yang boleh dielakkan, I rasa kita boleh elakkan.

 

Kenapa nak buat minit mesyuarat pun ambil masa berhari2… this question applied to me too. But, if things are urgent, a simple notes of discussion would be enough… I hate to go through few layers of examination only to build nice statements as for me, simple line pun okay asal maksud sampai… Lagi pun all the meeting members were there…

And if you cannot do some works, if you have so much on your plate, please delegate, I hate this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

aaaaaahhh.

 

 

Conversation

Happy Mothers’ Day to every mom!

Al-Fatihah to my mum, my grandma, my great grandmothers and to all the ones that had left us.

This is a conversation I had with J, my Indonesian colleague. I found it tranqualizing enough.

J : Your mum, how did she pass away?
S : Accident.
J : Because I don’t remember you telling me if she’s being hospitalized. Accident. Yah… How did it happened.
S : (Telling stories).
J : She passed away in a good, fast way.
S : I didn’t know why but I didn’t cry.
J : You don’t have to cry, you don’t have any reason to be crying, actually. She had completed what a Muslim should have done. She went peacefully.
S : I heard lots of people told me that. I hope she is blessed that way.
J : She is.
S : I hope she’s proud of me.
J : She is.
S : I think of it this way, if she lives and be old and sick and hospitalised, I am not sure if I could always be there for her.
J : Yes, exactly. She went in a good way, Allah had decided thing at its best.
S : Hopefully.

Sudah Tua

For the first time,

I forget my password to WordPress! After how many years, almost 6 years!

I changed it just now, reset it. No, I didn’t change it since it was given to me automatically when I created the blog.

Okay, nothing much, last weekend I went to Cherating, saja suka-suka.

Spent one night at a guesthouse. I’ve been to the same stall I used to have keropok lekor 5 years ago, during Induksi course. Got the chance to main air pantai, berendam and all. Best. Had breakfast at Hai Peng, nasi dagang dan roti bulat yang rangup. Sedapnya, Alhamdulillah!

I went there with Izzah and she’s got to meet her ex housemate, which left me alone la, nasib baik ada whatsapps and all.

Okaylah, that would be all. I don’t have that much photos.

Bye.

Aftermath

Hey,

Ketemu jua kita lepas election. Well, I’ve done my part, hope you guys too.

Lots of things being discussed, whether the the discussions were close or open, people have their right to voice out their opinion, though, most of the time, I hope they did think about what they wanted to share, before sharing.

Because most of the time, words hurt more than swords.

Okay,

I was in Brunei last week from 2-4 May then, upon arrival on Saturday, I went straight to the office to get my car, and straight away, I started my journey to my hometown, which is almost 400kms from Putrajaya. It was a tiring journey, but hey, I think I love every single minute of it. Yes, I drove home, alone.

On Sunday, I went to cast my vote too!

Then, spent time with family, went to market, and cooked at grandma’s. I just hoped that my grandma would agree to stay at our house instead of her own house.

It was sad to every time we wanted to leave her.

Hmm, yesterday, I started my journey back here at 5.30 pm and arrived at 3.00 am in front of the gate.

I have nothing more to say.

It’s just that…

One of the candidate promised a bullet train from here to my hometown, I was curious whether or not the bullet train promise was included in the promise at my hometown.

Okay,

all the best to all.

Salam.

For someone

Dear,

Congratulations!

Good luck on your posting, and I hope you will miss me, because as far as I am concern, I am missing you already. I was hoping I could spend more time with you but I do understand that everyone is looking forward to the same thing with you, so I thought I could just make do with what I have got.

I wish you all the best, I know it will be a hard work there with a lot of barriers but I know you can do it.

I know you wouldn’t be reading this because I have never told you about this but I still want to write this here, for my reference. Plus I think you have had enough wishes from me. Right?

I’m gonna miss you, sure.

and that’s him wearing the tie I’ve bought.