Something is not right

Ha, I don’t even know what or why or how, but a big part of me is yearning to go out and travel. I miss the beach (who doesn’t) and particularly I miss the feeling of traveling, most probably alone.

I think I need some time out. I will not justify my feeling for I know there are some people who’ve been through more difficult time than me.

I don’t even know why am I feeling this, I just feel tired.

 

Advertisements

Al Fatihah

Assalamualaikum,

Dimaklumkan adik I, Noor Ainun binti Kamarzaman, 34 telah meninggal dunia pada Isnin, 9 Julai 2018.  She was a cancer fighter. She was diagnosed with cancer, stage 3 in December 2016.

She was my first girl friend, though not quite close during our childhood but as we grew up, she found it easy to share with me most of her dreams, and ambitions and secrets.

Today is my birthday, and I would ask your kindness to recite Al Fatihah to her and my late mother, and to me too, as my birthday gift.

 

Thank you.

🙂

 

Adik oh adik

Adik bongsu I nampaknya tak boleh terima budaya di kolej dia tempat dia register Sabtu lepas and it’s now only 2 days but he’s been texting my father and my sister to share his unhappiness. I know that I’ve sort of pushed him to register himself in the college but then I was thinking of his own good.

Now we are all persuading him to stay for two more weeks and see how things go. I know that the first week could be like hell, with the orientation and having to wake up earliest in the morning. Ah, I am bit worried too.

Come to think of it, why is it so hard for these two youngest brothers of mine to stay at the first college they got? My 7th brother also ran away (sort of) from his college and asked my father to send him somewhere else and now with this number 8, I am foreseeing almost similar incident. Oh, please I loathe the private college.

Please pray for my brother’s happiness, anyone reading this? Hope he would find joy and happiness in this new place.

p.s : Why do we (some colleges) feel the need to put the new students in such a unhappy situation during the first week of being out of district, far from family for the first time (on some cases)?

 

 

Culture – and a bit of anything else

During the training in Thailand, there was a point when I was placed in a room with three other Muslimah.  It was in Koh Chang or Island of Elephant. We stayed in a beautiful community resort – The Salakphet. My room mates were from Indonesia, Bangladesh and Pakistan.

 Farhana (Bangladesh) and Kusma (Indonesia) are happily married while Marvi and I are still single. Marvi was the kind of doing her own business, I think there were only few times in that two weeks that she would come and have full conversation with us.  Apart from us, there were another 5  ladies from various countries during the course. All of us got along well, except for Marvi.

During the stay (we stay there for a night), Farhana was asking me on why I am still single and all. I wouldn’t mind the conversation because at that time we could be already considered as close friends… Farhana kept on telling me the benefit of being married etc (like I don’t know… hahaa) but we just had that chit chat while waiting for the turn to use the bathroom.

Suddenly, Marvi came and told us… “I am also single” We were shocked, because a) she’s pretty and b) she’s quite older than most of us.

I was saying to Farhana, that in my country, if anybody ask me about these, I would classify them as nosy… hehehe. That was when Marvi chirped in and said “I am also single…. and yes, in my country… this could be considered as nosy as well”

Farhana quickly apologized and she was like.. “I am so sorry Aisha… I don’t know” I was like, nah, it’s okay.

Marvi then proceeded to tell us that as she has been working for too long (and ehem own quite some money) she doesn’t believe in men and I think at some point she was about to tell us that she thinks men are after her money. Hmmm. She said she doesn’t like to talk about the salary, about her work and about her singleness.

Oh, anyway, I don’t think she really likes talking pun. HAHA. Seriously when we were having dinner and laughing she would slowly got up and excused herself. Maybe she thought that we were a bit childish to be in her social circle.  (She even left the Whatsapps Group).

LOVELY
Marvi (Pakistan), Jisha (India), Thinley (Bhutan), me, Shahid (Pakistan) and Noorullah (Afghanistan)
FRIENDS FOREVER
Uncle(Afghanistan), Kit (Laos), Pema (Bhutan), Mazhar (Bangladesh), Mary (PNG), Randeni (Sri Lanka) and Swarti (India)
FOREVER
Farhana (Bangladesh), Fikry (Maldives), Kusma (Indonesia), Brian (Indonesia), Tin (Myanmmar), Masitha (Sri Lanka) and Rahim (Malaysia)

These were the groups for our transportation. We moved all over the place in 3 vans. So the vans were called – Lovely, Friends, Forever.

Nice eh.

The course was such a fun one. It was on eco-tourism! Tourism! We went to different part of Thailand in those 15 days together. Bangkok, Pattaya, Koh Chang, Samaesarn Island, Chantaburi, Chonburi… Hmm.

Okaylah, that’s all for now. Have a great day!

 

Bebel lagi, I kan suka bebel…

Tapi rupanya ada orang yang lagi suka bebel! HAHA.

No, malas nak cerita pasal orang, clever girls don’t talk about other people. Instead, we talk about perception. Adeh. Bolehlah kan labu.

Case 1 : Breakfast apa pagi ni?

Oh well, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your thoughts, but I don’t think I like being asked about this kind of things. Alamak, jahat tak kalau marah orang tanya I macam tu. Or adakah itu faktor umur? Teringat pula pakcik I pernah cakap, kalau SMS setakat nak tanya “dah makan ke?” Tak payahlah! Membazir katanya. Tapi tu dulu, masa kos satu sms ialah RM0.20, sekarang ni pakai apps dah tak rasa kredit habis for satu satu text, kan? Tapi masalahnya, (no, it’s not really a problem) orang yang tanya I tu lagi tua dari I. Takde kerja ke dia? Mungkin sebab dia boss kot? Or mungkin itu salah satu small talk? Tapi takkanlah terjadi hari-hari. If you have nothing to talk about, please don’t talk, boleh? Oh, cerewetnya I!

Case 2 : Nak orang macam I! 

I selalu rasa I adalah seorang yang balance. Gitu (perasan, biasalah) so I was like, hmmm if I want someone, I want it to be just like me. Hmmm. Tapi Ted dan Robin kata (or was it Barney and Robin, or maybe Lily and Marshall – belasah) katanya kalau dua-dua awesome (ehem!) nanti susah jugak! Like, hmmm I peninglah! I selalu terfikir, if I didn’t get a reply from this one, perhaps it was because I also didn’t reply someone else’s text. You see that one I hoped would reply my text, was just like me! He didn’t reply because he was like, meh… malas. Did I send a trivial text, like “dah makan ke?” hahaha. Funny! Kena sebijik kan? Nope I would text nothing important, like “hmmmm” – this is only if we got along very well and we understood each other lah. But hmmm… entahlah. I pun tak faham. But I concluded that I am a bit complicated so I hope for someone that is much more simpler but at the same time, could conclude things for me. I have so many questions, I think – don’t you think so? I hope my significant other (if there’s one) would be able to solve these questions like – nak makan mana? biru ke merah? whatever lah.

Case 3 : Hormat-menghormati, menjaga hati

Kadang-kadang bila I rasa orang tak hormat I, I would just keep myself quiet and then, would find time to reflect on my behaviour, if I was lucky I would be guided by good people. But most of the times, I would just realized that I was being too kind. (I know, perasan). Tapi ia tidak mustahil kan? I rasa semua orang ada rasa diri mereka patut dihormati, dan dijaga hati. Sebab tu dia berang kalau kita tersalah cakap or anything kita cakap akan sampai di hati dia, menyebabkan dia berperasaan diri dia tak dihormati (I pernah juga rasa) tapi… sebenarnya, if things are not related to us, we could just laugh about it kan, if things were on us/about us, we felt like, eh… what the hell? Oh, I malas nak fikir.

I lupa I selalu cakap macam ni, kalau benda tu sampai directly to u, your name was on that thing, then kita kena fikir, betul ke kita buat benda tu? If tak betul, then kena betulkan. Tapi, kalau kita cuma dengar someone said “tadi Mr A cakap pasal you pasal ni pasal tu, tak puas hati dengan u” tak payahlah nak sentap apa-apa. If betul si Mr A tak puas hati dengan u… biar dia cakap sendiri dengan u. But then, I sendiri pun lupa, okay! next time if tak puas hati dengan orang, teruslah pergi cakap dengan orang tu, okay?

Case 4 : Jangan perasan diri tu baik sangat 

Ye, Aishah… you ingat you tu hebat sangat ke? Entahlah kadang-kadang okay je nak rasa hebat because sometimes we deserve it. Asal tak susahkan orang ikut sukalah kan.

Case 5 : Jangan ingat kita je busy 

Betul tu… especially bila kita buat kerja melibatkan orang ramai. Kita jangan ingat part kita je yang penting, dan kita juga yang banyak kerja. Eh, ke I dah pernah tulis pasal ni? Tu jelah, gist dia, semua orang pun sibuk dan kita kalau tak boleh membantu, jangan menyusahkan. (Ingat tu aishah!)

Sekian dulu bebelan I pada minggu ini! Selamat hujung minggu semua!

 

 

Central Market

I posted this photo on Instagram just now and realized I had so much to share about this place. Central Market, or CM – I think the first place I went for a date in KL? It’s 17 years ago with my then bf. (Hope he is well, anywhere he is). He waited for me at the Bangkok Bank – and walked with me to CM and later I think we went to KLCC  using Putra LRT. I was on the break from college, I had matrix in Penang. Memories!

I think we broke up via phone – it happened when I was out with some friends, when I was also there at CM. (Irony). He called me that day. I really feel like I wanted to forget the reasons why I ignored him, but I can’t. I am suck at forgetting unimportant and trivial things like these. I remember his question “so, this is it?” I was like, “yeah if you put it like that” And we were off. That was in 2002. I think I did take him for granted. (Hope he’s happy now).

I had a friend who told me he used to just sit at CM and watch people. Those were the days when he didn’t know what to do, some were hard times when life was a bit sad.

But anyways, it’s quite sad to be there yesterday, I hope CM won’t lost its charms! I looked at things and thought that I could get this anywhere else, at cheaper price. I didn’t know what to say, just kept it in mind. Maybe because I had a chance to travel around so those things looked usual to me, but maybe for the first timer out to KL, those things would be a real find!

Anyway, it’s 10th Ramadan now, hope you guys had a blessed Ramadan so far. 🙂 InsyaAllah!

 

Think positive!

  • I met a friend at a Pasar Malam last Tuesday. He heard that now I am known as a Subject Matter Expert for a thing that I do now. So I asked him where did he hear about this, apparently it’s a talk among our mutual friends. I hope they talked about me in a positive way;
  • I was appointed to hold some extra curricular activities in the office, and now currently I am the chairman to represent the staff, it was by voting system by the staff too. I hoped people chose me because they believed in my capability to represent them, not because they just wanted to play me – I don’t know. Things like this do happen, no? I think too much – my friends told me;
  • I was chosen to represent the Ministry to be one of the few ones to move the latest national initiatives, I hope that I could contribute accordingly, if not more; and
  • I hope that bosses believe in me, and they way I see/saw things.