grapevines · nescafe tarik · self searching

Think positive!

  • I met a friend at a Pasar Malam last Tuesday. He heard that now I am known as a Subject Matter Expert for a thing that I do now. So I asked him where did he hear about this, apparently it’s a talk among our mutual friends. I hope they talked about me in a positive way;
  • I was appointed to hold some extra curricular activities in the office, and now currently I am the chairman to represent the staff, it was by voting system by the staff too. I hoped people chose me because they believed in my capability to represent them, not because they just wanted to play me – I don’t know. Things like this do happen, no? I think too much – my friends told me;
  • I was chosen to represent the Ministry to be one of the few ones to move the latest national initiatives, I hope that I could contribute accordingly, if not more; and
  • I hope that bosses believe in me, and they way I see/saw things.

 

self searching

Planning yang tak kesampaian

Malasnya!

Kadang-kadang kena berhenti bila perasaan untuk mencuba dah hilang. Tak ada motivasi, hanya kemalasan menguasai diri. Sudah baca semua benda, sudah tahu baik dan buruknya tapi perasaan sudah tiada.

The passion’s gone. Nothing left, only a pathetic saying on the mind, calming and reassuring my own self. Pitiful self.

I think it’s time for me to realize that there are some things that I can’t manage to complete. It’s not some sort of giving up (denial) but I think it’s good to know that there’s a stop to everything.

I am quite tired of resting and putting things on hold, maybe it’s time to end things. Maybe some of the things that I thought would be good for me, were never meant for me.

I need to go and sleep on this. Ha, lost count of sleeps already.

Wish me luck.

 

 

grapevines · like-like · nescafe tarik · self searching

Dan lain-lain

So much happened at the office lately, shocking things actually but in a good way things reminded me of the surprise of life. On how things could fall out and fall in in so much ways that sometimes we didn’t expect them to be. But anyway, things happened, always for good. Insya Allah, hopefully all the madness that I felt (or still feel) won’t last long.

Oh, my auntie is going to get married (for the second time, her husband passed away few years back) tonight. Too bad I couldn’t make it. But I will leave for home tomorrow night, insyaAllah.

And hmm I am gonna take a good one week off. I have to optimize my off days since I’ve realized that my off days (balance) were to be burned (something like that la) if I couldn’t finish them all in 3 years…. I am entitled for 30 days off each year. Alhamdulillah.

Okaylah.

Have a great long weekend untuk yang berkenaan.

­čÖé

grapevines · like-like · nescafe tarik · self searching

Busynya!

Dua minggu kebelakangan ni, sangat busy! Tak larat rasanya. Tapi laratkan juga. Dengan kerja hakiki, kerja sekolah dan kerja persatuan. Takpelah, dua tiga hal boleh manage. Yang satu ni, memang sangat mencabar tapi insyaAllah, there would be no giving up! Pray hard!

Saya tak pasti kadang-kadang, saya ni terlalu rajin ke macam mana. Saya pun tak faham kenapa ada orang macam tu macam ni. Saya pun tak perfect juga, tak baik mana pun, nakal jugak. Banyak dosa jugak. Tapi ada few things yang saya nak buat atau ucapkan, saya akan fikir banyak kali jugak tak mau bagi orang terasa hati ke apa.

Saya ni tak reti nak marah, bebel bolehlah. Tak reti nak arah2 orang yang dah memang takde rasa nak buat sesuatu benda tu, sebab takde maknanya. Saya rasa banyak benda saya buat sebab tak ada orang nak buat. Atau pun, kelemahan saya adalah, saya rasa tak ada orang nak buat benda tu. Saya malas nak suruh-suruh. Cuma saya fikir, kalau saya boleh fikir yang benda tu nak kena buat, kenapa orang lain rasa macam tak perlu buat. Hehe. Ni pasal kerja persatuan ni.

Maybe orang lain ada banyak kerja. Saya ni macam takde kerja kut. Takpelah.

Tapi nasib baik lah ada orang yang membantu. Kalau tak banyak benda tak boleh gerak juga. Alhamdulillah.

 

Hmm. Malas..

Salam.

self searching

Bila

Bila seorang kata dia sayangkanmu, tak payahla kamu tanya soalan-soalan seperti “betul ke sayangkan saya?” atau “tak ada orang lain ke yang dia sayang?”.

Sebabnya, dia telah menerima dan menyayangi kamu tanpa ada apa-apa syarat. Mungkin dia ada persoalan, dan juga mungkin dia terfikirkan risiko yang macam-macam tapi kepercayaan dia terhadap mu, melebihi segala yang mungkin akan datang.  Hargailah perasaan dia. Mungkin juga pada masa hadapan dia akan tinggalkan mu, mungkin juga pada masa hadapan, kamu yang tinggalkan dia. Itu semua bukan kita tahu.

friends · grapevines · nescafe tarik · self searching

Well

These past few weeks, I’ve been thinking of people who had left me, or I left them, anything, people who is not in my life any more. They might throw me out, I don’t know, I guess I always keep people in my world, that’s why I keep on remembering them now and then.

Of course, the first one that I’ve missed so much is my late mum. I hope all of my prayers reach her. I really hope. Yes, I still dream of her, once in a while. Ya Allah, bless her, please.

Then, people who used to be special friends. They used to be so special and maybe too close to me that when hurtful things happen they thought that it would be better to keep me off their lives. I couldn’t blame them, I guess. I was not a good friend for them before.

There are also friends who used to be so close, then they chose to leave me, but they came back to be my friends again. Those are specials too.

I don’t know, I guess I kind of miss those warm feeling of talking to someone from the past, miss the comfort of telling things we both know, we both share. HAHA.

Okay, that’s all for this afternoon.

 

Things at office are good so far. Nothing out of my reach. Alhamdulillah. The only bad part is to rewrite the proposal, oh my, I am such a lazy bum. Please someone hit me.

Pinch me.

 

Well, all the best to all.

 

Salam. ­čÖé